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My Pursuit of Happiness

My Pursuit of Happiness

Warning, this blog could trigger.

If there's one thing life has taught me, it's if your not happy nothing else matters.

I'm coming out the other side of depression. So join me on my little pursuit of happiness...

I’m so hungry, like I need pizza so badly.

Massive thank you to my mate who did this today. She didn’t say a word, just came up, hugged me and said it would be okay. Then insulted me ;) And with that, we were back to normal :P

Massive thank you to my mate who did this today. She didn’t say a word, just came up, hugged me and said it would be okay. Then insulted me ;) And with that, we were back to normal :P

I get the impression, even the sight of my face is making my Mum sick right now…

What does tier 3 involve?

Anonymous

I’m not sure if I’m honest. I can give you more detail when I have my first meeting.

All I’ve been told is that the camhs team have reviewed my case and I will be put as a priority, assigned to an “individual” who is a professional in a certain field because my situation is “too complicated for counselling or specialised Primary Mental Health Workers”. They haven’t told me what yet, only that i defiantly wont be put into group therapy. It’ll be based at a specialist clinic.

Officially been referred to tier 3 of camhs. Shit.

Getting out of bed this morning was the hardest it’s ever been…

My current favourite cycling song, Stay High (Habits Remix)

I know when I get home tomorrow I’m just going to be questioned on what was spoken about and I’m prettified of that…

So tomorrow’s the big day. It’s going to be awful. First of all, I’m going back to 6th form and that’s shit, then hour and a half assessment with camhs, hour with my usual counsellor followed straight after by an hour and a half exam after school. Not to mention the lessons, and the lessons I’m going to have to catch up.

Plus I haven’t even asked my head of year for the time out of school so she’s going to be pissed I’ve booked “a doctors appointment” in school time and start asking questions. And I’ve got to explain to my teachers I’m missing their lessons for an hour and a half. Pretty long doctors appointment… Wooo!

Just feel like giving up everything and running away from this bullshit.

Someone needs to tell my Mum to stop switching between being my therapist and the “you know you can tell me anything, we’re like best mates” mother because neither of them suit her.

Anyone would have thought I have an assessment tomorrow…

"How many times do I have to tell you,
Even when you’re crying you’re beautiful too?
The world is beating you down. 
I’m around through every mood. 
You’re my downfall, you’re my muse
My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues. 
Cards on the table, we’re both showing hearts.
Risking it all, though it’s hard.”

-John Legend, All of Me.

"How many times do I have to tell you,
Even when you’re crying you’re beautiful too?
The world is beating you down.
I’m around through every mood.
You’re my downfall, you’re my muse
My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues.
Cards on the table, we’re both showing hearts.
Risking it all, though it’s hard.”

-John Legend, All of Me.